The Food Chain Called—It Says You're Not Special

I’ve met a handful of vegetarians and maybe one or two vegans in my lifetime. Me? No dietary restrictions—if it looks good, I eat it. If you’re skipping meat for health reasons, fair enough, this isn’t about you. But if you’re proudly plant-based just because you can’t bear the idea of an animal meeting its fate for your burger, well… we need to talk.

See, animals still die in the name of plant-based diets. Large-scale crop farming unintentionally wipes out countless mice, rabbits, birds, and insects. Pesticides, habitat destruction, and harvesting machines aren’t exactly critter friendly. Some estimates suggest that billions of animals meet their end thanks to crops alone. And before anyone shouts, “But meat farming is worse!”—yes, livestock feed demands a ton of crops too. Meaning your vegan burger and my steak might have the same unfortunate rodent casualties.

Now, I know it’s hard to picture a fuzzy bunny while chomping down on a crisp lettuce wrap, but let’s be real: Nature isn’t a Disney movie. The trophic pyramid—the food chain’s official hierarchy—doesn’t magically shift because you swapped beef for beans. Humans are still at the top, making choices that affect the planet. So, does avoiding meat actually make someone morally superior? The short answer: Nope.

At the end of the day, your dinner is your business. Whether you’re devouring chicken, apples, or (shudder) olives, why make it a personality trait? I promise—no one cares what’s on your plate as much as you do. And before you argue, imagine telling someone about your diet with all the passion of a TED Talk. Their polite nod? That’s them wishing they were anywhere else.

So, as I sit here enjoying my drumstick, let me say something that many won’t: Diet bragging doesn’t get you a medal—it gets you an eye roll. There are so many ways to shape who you are; let’s not make it about food.